Pillow Talk: Bedtime Routines (and Why They're Important)

[00:00:01] Hey guys and welcome back to Keep Calm and Parent Strong.

[00:00:07] I'm ChristaCarol Jones your host and today's episode is a bit different from our usual

[00:00:10] format.

[00:00:11] With the school year winding down and life feeling a bit more chaotic I thought we'd

[00:00:15] take it easy.

[00:00:16] So instead of our regular guest segment, I'll be flying solo, addressing some of your burning

[00:00:20] questions about bedtime routines.

[00:00:22] It's a topic that's especially relevant now and I hope to share some tips and

[00:00:26] insights that can help bring a little calm to the bedtime chaos.

[00:00:30] This will be a shorter episode just me and you navigating the challenges and solutions

[00:00:34] to setting up a bedtime routine that works for your family.

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[00:00:42] me a review.

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[00:00:47] listening to some of these episodes.

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[00:01:17] So bedtime routines.

[00:01:18] Oh my goodness where to begin?

[00:01:21] I know most people think well when we're going to talk about bedtime routines it's

[00:01:25] just about babies and toddlers right?

[00:01:28] But I do think routine is important no matter what age or child is.

[00:01:33] All the way up to teenage kids.

[00:01:35] Being a homeschool family my kiddos have a little more flexibility with their bedtime

[00:01:40] routine they stay up later and they get up later.

[00:01:44] But it's still important if I don't want to have a bunch of angry bears for the

[00:01:47] next day to make sure that they are getting an adequate amount of sleep.

[00:01:52] So what do you do to get your kids comfortable and in that sleep mode especially you know both

[00:02:00] when they're little and crazy and full of lots of energy.

[00:02:04] Those would be our toddlers and preschoolers maybe even some of our elementary schoolers

[00:02:09] and when they are teenagers and start having a mind of their own and friends online and

[00:02:16] social media and all of that good stuff.

[00:02:18] What are the key takeaways of making sure your kiddos get the sleep they need and deserve

[00:02:24] in order to function as a good human being the next day?

[00:02:28] And that is what we're going to dive into today on pillow talk easing into evening routines.

[00:02:35] So one of my first questions I got from Gina over in Ohio is my kid still resists

[00:02:42] going to bed on time help.

[00:02:46] It's sweet and to the point.

[00:02:48] A lot of it depends on your child's age to a degree.

[00:02:51] Gina unfortunately I don't know how old your child is but I do appreciate you reaching out

[00:02:56] to the podcast.

[00:02:57] I love all sorts of audience participation but I do want to say there are a few things

[00:03:05] that anyone can try no matter the age of their child.

[00:03:09] I will also say that if you are a listener with younger children it's easier to

[00:03:14] start now and get your children into the routine of some of these tips I'm going to

[00:03:18] give you than to try and start them when your kids are already teenagers.

[00:03:23] However not to say it's not impossible.

[00:03:28] The main trick with teenagers is to be consistent to sound like a broken record and to say

[00:03:33] what you mean and mean what you say.

[00:03:35] Of course that also goes with any child but especially when you're trying to establish

[00:03:40] something new with teenagers.

[00:03:43] By now they understand consequences, they understand a lot of things.

[00:03:49] They're teenagers they think they know everything.

[00:03:52] But having a sit down chat before you really start to put your foot down if you are struggling

[00:03:58] with having or establishing a bedtime routine and you want to try any of the tips that

[00:04:03] I am going to offer here in this segment then I definitely suggest scheduling a time

[00:04:08] to sit down with your child whether they roll their eyes and grunt and groan and just

[00:04:13] say this is for your benefit and you got to stick to it parents.

[00:04:17] That's the biggest thing I see as an educator and as a mom with other mom friends is you

[00:04:24] know if the minute you give them an inch they will take a mile and it's like having

[00:04:29] to start all over except even harder because now they're going to test even more if

[00:04:35] they realize that the first time they tested you you gave in a little bit while

[00:04:39] they're going to try even harder now.

[00:04:42] So it's really important that whatever you do decide to do you stick with it, you say

[00:04:48] what you mean and you mean what you say.

[00:04:50] So before I go into offering some tips and suggestions on helping you guys establish

[00:04:55] a good bedtime routine with your kids whether they be infants, babies, infants are a

[00:05:00] whole other story but babies, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary schoolers,

[00:05:05] tweens, teens, you name it.

[00:05:07] I think we kind of need to establish why.

[00:05:11] Why is it important that they get a normal amount of sleep?

[00:05:15] Well it seems obvious and common sense but let's go ahead and tackle that anyway.

[00:05:22] So one of the first things sleep can affect is growth and development.

[00:05:25] I mean during sleep the body releases growth hormones which are essential for muscle

[00:05:29] development, tissue repair, you name it.

[00:05:32] The National Sleep Foundation emphasizes that children who get adequate sleep have

[00:05:36] better growth and development outcomes.

[00:05:39] So that makes me think hey if I'm going to the pediatrician and my pediatrician

[00:05:43] is telling me that my child isn't thriving, you know how they have a little

[00:05:48] percentiles and all of that, you have to ask yourself are they getting enough

[00:05:52] sleep?

[00:05:53] Sometimes it's not even the amount of sleep but it's the routine of sleep.

[00:05:58] I mean if your child's getting nine, ten hours of sleep but it's at

[00:06:01] different times every day that kind of defeats the purpose of what their body

[00:06:05] is trying to do.

[00:06:07] Sleep is also crucial for the consolidation of memory which obviously

[00:06:12] is key to learning.

[00:06:14] Research published by the National Institute of Health demonstrates that

[00:06:17] children who have regular sleep schedules have actually improved memory

[00:06:21] and learning capabilities which again it's crucial and it definitely affects

[00:06:27] school performance.

[00:06:29] It gets harder if you haven't realized the older your child gets as far as

[00:06:35] getting more of a structured routine sleep schedule especially when they're

[00:06:38] teenagers and they're on their screens, they're on their computers,

[00:06:42] playing games, on the Xbox, you name it.

[00:06:46] So it might be a battle trying to establish or keep your kid on a sleep

[00:06:51] routine.

[00:06:52] It's probably a battle worth fighting for especially if you're wanting them

[00:06:56] to excel in the academic area of life and what parent doesn't.

[00:07:02] The next one which is my favorite is emotional regulation.

[00:07:05] I mean consistent sleep helps regulate the mood, it decreases behavioral

[00:07:11] problems in children and I'm also probably going to say adults fall into

[00:07:16] that category too and that includes irritability and hyperactivity.

[00:07:21] Yes kids can get hyperactive when they're overtired and that is one

[00:07:24] of the biggest misunderstandings or unknowns that a lot of parents have is

[00:07:30] you know that overtiredness.

[00:07:32] I don't know if you've ever been part of a sleepover and there's like a

[00:07:35] certain peak point, a certain hour in the evening or really early morning

[00:07:41] when you and your girlfriends are crazy hyper or I mean I don't know if

[00:07:46] guys have sleepovers maybe probably not when you're teenagers.

[00:07:49] I don't know, I don't know anything about guys but I know with us

[00:07:52] girls when we had sleepovers I don't know one or two o'clock in the morning

[00:07:55] and we are just crazy and giddy and goofy and hyper.

[00:07:59] It's I used to blame it on the estrogen but I really think it maybe

[00:08:03] it's a little bit of estrogen and just sleep deprivation.

[00:08:07] We're tired, we're overtired and so you have that hyperactivity aspect

[00:08:11] to it.

[00:08:12] The same goes with kids you know you take them out.

[00:08:14] I don't know if you've ever had a family outing where you might

[00:08:18] have taken your child and had lots of fun and they kind of pushed

[00:08:23] through that really tired window of you know exhaustion and then

[00:08:27] suddenly they are hyperactive, crazy, driving you nuts because

[00:08:32] they're just all over the place.

[00:08:34] That is a sign of oh they're overtired.

[00:08:36] You have missed your window of opportunity to get them to sleep.

[00:08:40] So the American Academy of Pediatrics note that children with

[00:08:44] regular bedtime routines actually exhibit better emotional

[00:08:47] regulation and fewer behavior problems.

[00:08:50] And you know taken to consideration how many kids these

[00:08:54] days have some sort of diagnosis.

[00:08:56] I have kids at home that all three of them have ADHD.

[00:09:00] I have ADHD who doesn't have ADHD nowadays.

[00:09:04] Lots of neurodivergent people you know who's to say it's

[00:09:08] something in the water or if it's just science getting smarter

[00:09:11] and understanding humans more.

[00:09:14] But aside from all of that there's a lot more behavioral

[00:09:17] problems nowadays as well.

[00:09:19] As an educator I've noticed it in my classroom.

[00:09:21] I don't know if you've noticed it as well out there.

[00:09:24] And a lot of it can be attributed to many things one of

[00:09:27] which I think is technology for sure.

[00:09:29] But you already have you know behavior issues to begin

[00:09:33] with get them on a sleep schedule.

[00:09:35] That'll help.

[00:09:37] Another common sense thing that proper sleep helps is health

[00:09:43] and disease prevention you know adequate sleep is associated

[00:09:48] with a stronger immune system helps the body to fight

[00:09:51] off stuff according to the CDC children who get enough

[00:09:54] sleep are to reduced risk of obesity diabetes injuries

[00:09:58] and other health problems.

[00:10:00] Why injuries probably because they're not sleep deprived

[00:10:02] and tripping over their feet and falling down the stairs

[00:10:04] and with that behavioral health and you know the behavior

[00:10:08] aspect of sleep and the importance of it.

[00:10:12] It can also affect your mental health.

[00:10:14] I mean think of think of yourself when you don't have

[00:10:16] enough sleep.

[00:10:18] I think stress and anxiety find it easier to creep its way

[00:10:22] into our head those intrusive thoughts negativity.

[00:10:26] It's so much easier to be negative than positive

[00:10:28] especially when you don't have the energy to try

[00:10:30] to form positive thoughts to overcome the negative

[00:10:34] thoughts.

[00:10:35] The American Psychological Association has reported

[00:10:37] that sleep deprivation is actually linked to higher

[00:10:39] stress levels among children and adolescents which can

[00:10:42] affect their overall mental health.

[00:10:45] So why is sleep important?

[00:10:47] Well all of the above it affects everything.

[00:10:51] So as parents I think it's really important that we

[00:10:52] develop that bedtime routine and we stick to it

[00:10:55] and they may fight they may dig their heels in

[00:10:58] but they don't know they don't you know

[00:10:59] their logical part of their brain has not developed

[00:11:01] until they're 25.

[00:11:03] So until then you know what's best for them.

[00:11:07] But there's a trick to approaching it and introducing

[00:11:11] it without the battles that typically come when a

[00:11:15] parent says I know better than you how to keep you

[00:11:18] safe and healthy especially to a teenager.

[00:11:21] So let's start from the beginning.

[00:11:24] When I first became a mom as you've heard in

[00:11:27] the previous episode I was ready to become a

[00:11:30] mom way before I even thought of conceiving

[00:11:32] a child I was subscribing to parenting magazines

[00:11:36] reading blogs cutting out things from magazines

[00:11:39] that I thought oh I'm gonna do this with my kids.

[00:11:40] So I was a little atypical in that aspect.

[00:11:45] But when Ray came along I was kind of very

[00:11:51] you know first born child I'm a first time mom

[00:11:55] and everything's gonna be this, this and this.

[00:11:57] I had a list of exactly what I wanted to do

[00:11:59] for her bedtime routine.

[00:12:00] I was a little neurotic you can ask my husband

[00:12:02] you can ask my friend Jenny who at times had to watch

[00:12:07] Ray when she was a baby and I literally had a page

[00:12:11] listed out I was crazy guys of what you had to do

[00:12:13] to put her to bed and it was everything from

[00:12:17] reading her favorite story.

[00:12:19] I believe when she was a baby baby you know

[00:12:21] giving her her bottle and then singing two

[00:12:24] specific songs now if someone was babysitting

[00:12:29] it would be songs they would know but if it was me

[00:12:31] I made up my own songs for my kiddos

[00:12:33] cause that's me I'm Krista.

[00:12:35] But so we would sing two songs and we would lay them to bed

[00:12:40] and of course before all of this we would have

[00:12:42] we would start it off with brushing our teeth

[00:12:44] and I remember going to the library

[00:12:46] and finding they had a great children's program

[00:12:50] at this library it was the Wataga library

[00:12:52] here in Texas and they had a great children's

[00:12:55] story time and during that they would actually

[00:12:58] play this song and so that's how it was introduced to it

[00:13:01] years ago and you could check out CDs back then

[00:13:05] I'm probably sure you probably still can

[00:13:07] but I haven't been to the library to look for CDs

[00:13:09] in a long time but so I found this song

[00:13:12] that they played during their story time segment

[00:13:15] and it was Brush Your Teeth and it was so fun

[00:13:17] and so we would play it at the

[00:13:19] that would start her bedtime routine.

[00:13:21] Now I have kind of jumped from baby hood

[00:13:24] to toddler hood so baby was a lot easier

[00:13:26] we'd rock, we'd read the story, we'd sing the songs

[00:13:29] we'd give the bottle, we'd lay them down

[00:13:31] at the time she had her pacifiers

[00:13:33] she had her certain stuffed animals

[00:13:35] so we would make sure she was all settled in

[00:13:37] we'd give her a kiss goodnight

[00:13:39] and that was her bedtime routine.

[00:13:41] As far as things like babies that continue to cry

[00:13:44] that's a whole different segment

[00:13:47] cause there's lots of different varying opinions

[00:13:49] on the whole do you let them cry it out

[00:13:52] and there's co-sleeping nowadays

[00:13:54] and they're sleeping in the same bedroom

[00:13:56] so for now we're going to bypass that part of bed times

[00:14:00] but whatever it be for you just make sure

[00:14:03] it is consistent and it is a routine.

[00:14:06] Children thrive on routine

[00:14:07] you think they'd get bored

[00:14:09] and would want something different

[00:14:11] but no as an educator of young children

[00:14:14] we have a strict routine at our school

[00:14:17] of just to give you an example circle time

[00:14:20] so at circle time we always start with the same song

[00:14:24] we always get to pick our instruments

[00:14:25] we always sing the song, we play our instruments

[00:14:27] and then we always sing a good morning song

[00:14:29] where we're saying good morning to everyone

[00:14:31] and we're putting up our instruments

[00:14:32] and it's the same song every day

[00:14:35] and then our instruments are put up

[00:14:36] and then we look at the calendar

[00:14:38] and we do the calendar songs

[00:14:39] and it's in the same order every day

[00:14:41] and we count the days on the calendar

[00:14:43] and we talk about the weather

[00:14:45] but everything is in the same order

[00:14:47] everything has the same song or chant

[00:14:49] and the kids thrive and they do it every single day for what 180 days out of the year.

[00:14:55] So there's some pretty smart kids by the end of the year, they know lots of things,

[00:14:58] but they feel comfort in knowing what to expect. When you change things up,

[00:15:04] it's scary for them. It causes anxiety, especially if you have a, you know, an

[00:15:10] atypical or neurodivergent child. I've taught children with autism and when you change things

[00:15:16] up, it can really cause a lot of stress and anxiety. So think of a bedtime routine that works for you

[00:15:23] and stick to it and then you can add things as they get older and, you know, change it up a little bit

[00:15:28] as they get older but then keep it the same for a while. That is my suggestion. I really think

[00:15:33] that that would be beneficial to kids. Of course, you do you. So back to the

[00:15:37] brush your teeth song. First, I'd actually give her a bath. That was kind of the beginning

[00:15:42] of our bedtime routine as it is probably with a lot of people, but I don't know. Everybody has

[00:15:47] different living expectations depending on where you work and just how your life is scheduled,

[00:15:52] but that's how we started our bedtime routine with a nice warm bubble bath

[00:15:56] and then we would have our song playing the brush your teeth song. I would also play

[00:16:00] other little nursery rhymes and songs like that just to, so she knew that this was kind of our

[00:16:05] winding down time. And there's lots of different CDs out there, but nowadays there's,

[00:16:09] of course, we didn't have Alexa back then, but you could use your smart speaker and ask,

[00:16:15] you know, make a playlist on your phone and that could be your bedtime routine playlist.

[00:16:19] And whenever they heard those songs, they knew it was time to start winding down.

[00:16:23] So this lasted for all the way to probably kindergarten first grade where we were

[00:16:30] doing the bath, doing our brush your teeth song, listening to the night night music or

[00:16:34] it wasn't really sleepy time music. It was just songs like Down by the Bay and just,

[00:16:38] you know, nursery songs while she was getting her pajamas on. I was blow drying her hair or,

[00:16:44] you know, picking out clothes for the next day, whatever it was that we decided to do,

[00:16:48] that's what we did every single evening. Now, granted, there's always going to be an

[00:16:52] exception. There's always going to be some evening where you had a birthday party

[00:16:54] or some family event and that's an exception and that's okay. So then we would settle down.

[00:17:02] I had one of those little glider chairs and she would pick her books. Now when

[00:17:07] we first started this, when she was a baby, we actually picked the books obviously for her

[00:17:13] and those books actually stayed with her bedtime routine for a very long time. So it was time

[00:17:17] to sleep by Mem Fox. We also had, that was the most popular one, but also Good Night Moon.

[00:17:25] I remember Good Night Moon was another one. And then as her library grew and she got a

[00:17:29] little older and more independent wanting to pick her own books, she would add another

[00:17:33] story on top of that. So when she was a toddler into preschool, we would read at least three

[00:17:39] picture books every evening. And because I'm a neurotic person or I was a neurotic person back

[00:17:46] then, we also sang songs and it was the same songs every evening. It was the ABCs but we

[00:17:53] did it in sign language because I'm an overachiever and we would sing, you know, two more

[00:17:59] lullaby songs. I tuck her in and that was it. So it sounds easy but I know because I've had two

[00:18:07] other kids, it's not always that easy. She was my easy kid at that age. She loved those routines.

[00:18:13] She was the firstborn child and I didn't really get a lot of kickback from her. Enter the

[00:18:18] secondborn child. Woo wee! You got the wild child there. This is where my tips and tricks

[00:18:26] really, I think, make a difference. Now I can't take full credit for this. Cookies, choices and kids,

[00:18:33] I believe is the name of this YouTube video or it was a video and then it was put on YouTube.

[00:18:39] I'm pretty sure it was like a VHS tape at some point but I don't even remember

[00:18:45] where I heard it from. I can't give anyone credit for tipping me this direction. I feel bad but

[00:18:53] this was a life changer when I watched this video and to sum it up, it's all about choices.

[00:19:01] The biggest battles you have with your toddlers and your teenagers and then any child in between

[00:19:07] that is strong-willed is the battle for control. When you give your child two choices, they still

[00:19:16] have control over which they choose. You're giving them limited control and if any of my

[00:19:23] school parents are on here listening, they've probably all heard this before and are nodding,

[00:19:28] yes I'm like a broken record but it's true and it's only because I've seen it and it's powerful

[00:19:37] and I use this not just with the bedtime routines when Elena, my secondborn wild child,

[00:19:43] had a really hard time going to sleep when I told her to but also with my students who were having

[00:19:49] some struggles listening or following directions or following the expectations that we had set

[00:19:54] forth way back at the beginning of the year and suddenly they decided they wanted to

[00:19:58] test the boundaries to see if those expectations still existed. Two choices,

[00:20:05] you can choose to go to bed at that time and be able to watch your favorite show in the

[00:20:10] morning when you wake up or you can choose not to go to bed right now at your bedtime and not get

[00:20:16] to watch your favorite show when you wake up. Those are your choices, what do you choose?

[00:20:23] They have to make the choice, you can't make it for them unless they are that strong-willed

[00:20:28] because I have strong-willed children and then you say after giving them three opportunities

[00:20:34] if you don't make the choice I will make it for you and that choice will be

[00:20:39] you not being able to get your favorite show in the morning because you're choosing not to go to bed

[00:20:44] when you're supposed to. Krista how can that work? How could that sounds too easy? It's not easy at

[00:20:50] the beginning, it takes a broken record, it takes effort and it takes say what you mean and mean

[00:20:57] what you say and it takes about depending on your child one to two weeks but you just do

[00:21:04] it and you keep doing it and you don't give up just like potty training you just got to keep doing it

[00:21:09] with teenagers, adolescents, you can do the same thing. You can choose to get off your computer

[00:21:15] now of course my kids have screen time on their computer I can control when their computer turns

[00:21:20] off so they don't really have a choice there anymore but depending on your kids and how much

[00:21:26] freedom you give them and how responsible because some kids are great some kids will follow

[00:21:29] the rules like my first born would and would know okay screen time's over I can go read a book or

[00:21:35] draw or chill out or whatever and that's kind of my cooling down time before lights are out.

[00:21:42] So with adolescents you know giving them their choices maybe having a time where you sit down

[00:21:49] as a family and say what would your bedtime routine look like? What would you want to do?

[00:21:54] You can't you know play on your phone or on the computer on the Xbox right up until

[00:21:59] the bedtime. You need time to decompress you need time to get off screens and just kind of be right?

[00:22:06] So how much time would you recommend? Well the American Association of Pediatrics says at least

[00:22:12] one hour I think maybe it's two but I do one hour for my family because that's what my

[00:22:16] pediatrician says and he's a rock star so one hour before bed no screens. Now it's tricky because

[00:22:24] Alayna loves to draw and she draws on her iPad so there are some days where if she's had a decent

[00:22:30] day and she hasn't been a beast then I don't really say anything about it that is her winding down

[00:22:34] she likes to draw and yes it's on a screen but it's not that instant gratification from videos

[00:22:41] or gaming and that's the big thing is that you don't want their brain constantly getting that

[00:22:47] dopamine right before bed and that's what gaming and apps and you know instant gratification

[00:22:53] gives you and that makes it harder to relax and go to sleep. So talking to your teen and saying you

[00:23:00] know what would your bedtime routine be? Getting off screens an hour early are you going to do

[00:23:06] like my one of my kiddos has a facial regimen she likes to wash her face right and do all sorts

[00:23:12] of beauty stuff and then you know maybe they're a reader maybe they're a drawer maybe they're

[00:23:17] a writer something to just bring them down to a level of relaxing giving them their space in

[00:23:24] their room because I don't know about you but as an adult when I'm ready to go to bed I don't want

[00:23:29] to be bothered I told my kids I'm settling down for the night leave me alone well the same goes

[00:23:35] for them they don't want to be pestered right so giving them their space once you guys have

[00:23:39] developed that routine and for us I always let them know because we're all over the house

[00:23:46] as far as our bedrooms are concerned so we all have smart speakers in our bedrooms and I'll always

[00:23:51] say I'll always make an announcement and say hey I'm going to bed come say good night that way it's

[00:23:55] on them it's not me intruding on their bedtime or on their personal space in their bedroom so they'll

[00:24:00] come in say good night and then Anderson and I my son we have a thing he loves to text me good

[00:24:07] night he'll send me a picture every single night he'll send me a picture and a little kissy

[00:24:11] emoji so that's kind of our routine it's simple there's not reading anymore because they're adolescents

[00:24:17] they don't need me to read them a story I did read to them up until they were teens but you know

[00:24:22] it started wavering a little bit once they were like 11 so bringing your kid into the choice of

[00:24:29] how they want to go to bed is going to give them that control that is typically the reason

[00:24:35] there are battles between parents and kids back to the two choices so with your teenagers

[00:24:40] they're completely responsible for their bedtime routine because they established it they decided

[00:24:44] what they wanted to do they talked about it with you so now it's you can choose to do your bedtime

[00:24:49] routine or you can choose to to lose something that's kind of a logical consequence well

[00:24:54] if you stay up too late right then you're going to be too tired to do this so instead of playing

[00:25:03] your video game you know whenever you do the next day you're going to have to have the game

[00:25:08] off and get some rest so that you have the energy to do a chore or your schoolwork or whatever it is

[00:25:14] make it connect you know that make the consequence connect with the choice of not going to bed at a

[00:25:21] decent time when they were supposed to when they agreed with you that they would go to bed

[00:25:25] so bringing that into toddlers preschoolers young elementary schoolers and regular elementary

[00:25:31] schoolers two choices this goes with anything not just sleeping and we will have a segment about

[00:25:39] you know challenging behavior later on but it is a gold mine this two choices thing it works

[00:25:46] every single time if you do it right you can choose to brush your teeth and be able to get

[00:25:53] tucked in or you can choose not to brush your teeth and I have to brush your teeth

[00:25:59] and then that takes away from my time so I won't be able to tuck you in right so I mean I don't know

[00:26:05] that's kind of harsh I want to tuck in my kid but come in you know bringing it together making it some

[00:26:10] kind of logical consequence if you choose not to do what I'm asking you to do then you're making

[00:26:17] me have to do it which takes away my time from somewhere else and it might be my time doing

[00:26:23] something with you that you really enjoy for instance reading a story that's kind of why

[00:26:28] I had more than one story that I would read with my kiddos because then I always had an arsenal of

[00:26:34] well if you choose to not brush if you choose to brush your teeth when I ask you to right now

[00:26:40] or in this next minute you know I usually give kids kids need a bit to kind of

[00:26:46] accept the fate that it's time for bed right so I start the music but I also give them a

[00:26:51] countdown okay you nowadays you can use your smart speaker I obviously use that for

[00:26:55] everything now but you can use it for a timer say when this timer goes off that is that's the

[00:27:00] time that you have to go brush your teeth right if you choose not to go brush your teeth when

[00:27:05] the timer goes off then you are choosing not to be able to read this book with me

[00:27:11] because I won't have time because you have wasted that time and not brushing your teeth

[00:27:14] when you were supposed to I hope that makes sense for those of you that have

[00:27:20] hardheaded children and I have one and a half of them that is going to be my suggestion for you

[00:27:29] try it out be consistent with it be a broken record if they try to oh what do you do when

[00:27:37] they don't want to make one of those choices you keep saying the same thing sound like a

[00:27:43] broken record you can choose to brush your teeth now and get to read all the stories

[00:27:48] or you can choose from me to help brush your teeth and we have to lose one story what is your choice

[00:27:54] I don't want to choose either of those you can choose to brush your teeth now and read all of

[00:27:59] your stories or you can choose for me to brush your teeth and we have to lose one story what

[00:28:04] is your choice right just keep saying it and finally if you get tired of hearing yourself

[00:28:10] you can say if you can't make the choice I will make it for you and it will be losing a

[00:28:16] story because we've already lost so much time trying to brush your teeth and leave it at that

[00:28:22] and mean what you say and say what you mean and if you ever have to dole out a consequence

[00:28:30] I would recommend before bedtime like before you even establish what your bedtime routine

[00:28:35] is going to be establish what your consequences are going to be because sometimes we as parents

[00:28:39] get so frustrated we throw out the most craziest consequence that we don't even want to follow

[00:28:45] through with you know well you're not going to so-and-so's birthday party if you don't do this

[00:28:51] well now that sucks for you because you know you wanted to see so-and-so's mom and catch up and

[00:28:56] you just threw out a consequence that you probably don't really want to even you know follow

[00:29:01] through with but then they and if they know that they're going to continue testing you

[00:29:07] so make it something that you are willing to follow through with so ahead of time come up with

[00:29:12] what some of those consequences can be that way if you do get frustrated and to the point of

[00:29:17] you know exploding and bursting out some consequence that it's something already

[00:29:23] you know that you've already thought about in the back of your head and it's and you can you're

[00:29:28] okay with following through with it it's not something that you really don't want to follow

[00:29:32] through with you let them get away with whatever it is that you didn't want them to do in the

[00:29:35] first place i hope that made sense so hopefully some of what we talked about today will help you

[00:29:43] and developing a good bedtime routine if you don't already have one and if you do

[00:29:48] way to go and keep moving forward with that stay determined even when they start fighting it

[00:29:54] fighting the system um you know and as they get older talk to them about the importance

[00:29:58] of it i mean there's a whole scientific research out there about the importance of sleep

[00:30:05] and why even us as adults need a good bedtime routine as well so thanks for tuning into pillow talk on

[00:30:12] our keep calm and parent strong podcast we dove into why establishing a bedtime routine isn't just

[00:30:17] about getting our kids to sleep it's about setting them up for success in every area of life

[00:30:22] and remember a consistent bedtime routine can transform chaotic nights into peaceful evenings

[00:30:27] it also creates healthier environment for the whole family and it makes us all not so beastly

[00:30:32] the next day join us next time for more insightful discussions and don't forget to subscribe and

[00:30:38] leave a review on your favorite podcast platform if you have questions or topics you'd love me

[00:30:43] to explore reach out via email 321 parentstrong at gmail.com or drop a comment on our website

[00:30:49] sleep tight and keep parenting strong